Tuesday, March 19, 2013

IVF Transfer.




Well, it's that time again where my husband and I have been praying and talking about when we are going to go back and transfer our three remaining embryos in Oxford, UK. It has really been weighing heavy on my heart ever since we moved back to the UK in September. We have been waiting on finances and how we will be able to pay for it. I really want to do it asap, but money does not permit us to do so right now. But by the time June comes around we will. So I am happy about that, but know that we will be faced with a lot of emotions. One being that one of the embryos does not have even one cell in it. So the likely hood of it even surviving the freezing process is not good. And the other two have cells but just not very many. We know our God is bigger than all this. Percentages are nothing to God. My husband had to correct me the other day when I said Tallis was an "A" quality embryo with tons of cells. As it turns out... was not. He was (in the Doctors mind) not going to make it. The Doctor was shocked to hear he even took and not surprised that the other one did not even make it. For some reason I had it in my head, for the past 2 1/2 years that Tallis and our other baby they put inside of me was an "A" quality. I was so emotional the day of his transfer that I heard only what I wanted to hear. I had just lost three of our babies to the Lord and was weeping on the table. The Doctor said these are the best two you have, and in my mind he said these are the best!! 
So I know it can happen, but I also know that this is all in Gods hands, and it is His call. And how I will deal with it... I don't know. I have had a tough couple of days dealing with all these emotions and the possibility of having another loss is very overwhelming to me. My emotions are all over the map right now. On top of it my Endometriosis is acting up and causing chronic pain. We could really use a lot of prayer and support right now. So please pray the Lord will give us peace and wisdom on the transfer in June and to keep His hand of protection on my womb... 
Praise the Lord my in-laws are coming to help with Tallis while we have the transfer in early June. Tallis will be 2 June-6th. I just can't believe how fast time has flown!! What a fantastic blessing he has been in our life. My cup overflows...
Thank you. 

2 comments:

  1. I just want to thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. I have found so much peace and hope in your blog! Laci shared it with me and I read the whole thing in 2 sittings!! I am waiting for my beta result, which was drawn today but they did not call. I haven't been brave enough to POAS so I continue to wait! I'm even more encouraged since you made the statement that your embabies were "not quality" but still God gave you your Tallis! I was told the same and my mom told me that "God does not make junk!" :) Thank you again and good luck! Definitely praying for pain relief and peace.

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    1. Oh wow... Praying for you. I know how stressful it can be and trusting in the Lord for His will and provisions for our lives. He is in control over all creation including IVF, but that does not mean we don't morn our losses and struggle when facing infertility. Hang in there. Praying all goes well!! Let me know what happens.

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