Thursday, May 3, 2012

In Process of Talking About 2nd Embryo Transfer.

We are already starting to plain the 2nd transfer... We don't have dates as of yet, but within the next 12 months or less we are wanting to do the transfer. The sooner the better because my endometriosis is flaring back up again.. 
I must say it's a bit daunting considering the lack of growth in the remaining 3 embryos. We know that God is in control and what He ordains, we will honer. We wont know till day of transfer if any survived the freezing process. 
Just the thought of possibly going through another loss is in the back of my head and it is hard. 
It always amazes me when I see other woman not being effected by losing an embryo as long as they get pregnant with one. We cried the day we got the call telling us that three of our embryos passed away in the lab. I laid in bed and weeped for there little lives and never getting to hold them. Justin and I grieved the day we only saw one heartbeat, but also rejoiced at having Tallis survive. It was a bitter sweet day for both of us. Tear of joy for Tallis, and tears and pain for losing his brother or sister. I remember it took me a while to realize there was only one in there, because at every ultrasound I asked, are you sure there is only one? 
Even harder when people would ask are you sure there is only one in there? It was a reminder of my loss each and every time... 
I had someone tell me it's better that you only are pregnant with one. I thought how insensitive. It's not better to have lost a child and to never hold or get to know your baby. It's still life and part of you and your husband. It's okay to greave over a loss, it is a life lost. 
I'm praying all goes well and staying positive, but also preparing myself for the worst. 
Having Tallis has been the biggest joy of our life and we would love to give him a brother or a sister and to finally hold those sweet babies.. 
Please pray for us and for the Lord to give us peace through this process again. We will keep you updated as the time approaches. 
Much love, The Estrada's