Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Feeling a bit low today...

A lot of people think that once your pregnant with your little one there are no more tears. But just because you get pregnant does not mean your not still morning the loss of the life that did not take. I do morn them and pray for there little souls... I think of how I will never get to hold them, feel them kick inside of me, talk to them, kiss there little faces... I am still having problems with forgiving people who make rash and insensitive remarks. Like your lucky only one took... really people? You really think I'm happy that our other baby was miscarried?
I remember the nurse called and told us that three of our babies have died and the three left look bad and thinking the only hope of children are the two inside of me and so sad that there little cell mass was not strong enough to survive... It was the day my heart broke into a million pieces... I cried and weeped so hard. I thought the world could hear my heart breaking for them and that the skies would burst open and cry with us...
Or hearing why don't you just adopt? Like adoption is an option for everyone. It's not, and is not. The Lord never gave us a peace over it, nor the money to go through with it.
We got IVF for free in the UK and that was a true gift from God. We never expected it...
I wonder, really wonder what people think when they speak so harshly, and insensitive to someone who has been on there knees weeping for life that was lost or life that never took place and the burden of infertility. There are a lot of cruel people in this world, some that don't know that they are being cruel and some that do... It always amazes me that people act that way. But I really shouldn't be, because we are all sinners and the majority of the world don't put much stock into the life of an unborn child. We pray for them, and for the Lord to open there eyes, humble there hearts to those hurting all around them. Weep with those who are weeping people... You might say, I don't know what to say to people like you, all you need to do is give someone like me a hug and pray with me and say "I'm so sorry your going through this" or "Is there anything I can do for you"?

I cry with a thankful and grateful heart each and everyday that the Lord gave us the life growing inside of me... It is such a blessing to love your child SO MUCH even before he is born. I pray for him to know the Lord and that the Lord is preparing for him a godly wife and would prepare him for his wife to be... I pray he love the Lord with all his heart and loves and respects us as his parents.
He is my sweet little man and we are over the moon excited to meet him.

Thank you Lord for this amazing grace you have given us. Life is such a blessing and a gift from God...
Thank you sweet readers with your kind and encouraging words to us.
We really do appreciate it...
God Bless, Laura

4 comments:

  1. I struggle with these feelings too. I am so sad for our babies we will never meet or hold. Everyday with our little guys is so sweet and hug him tight everyday when he is here. ((HUGS))

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  2. Yes, I think our little boys will not be laking in the love department :) I can't wait to snuggle with him and tell him everyday how much mommy and daddy love him and what a miracle he is :)

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  3. So thankful for what you said, Laura. I've had so many close friends struggle with infertility, and the comments that people made to them were just unbelievable. So thankful God has blessed you with this precious little one. I can't wait to meet him! Love and miss ya'll!

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  4. Thank you :) I think it helps to teach those going through this and those that see friends go through this, more of a humble heart and insight on how to love those who struggle around you. The Lord has broken our hearts and rebuilt them in His way and has prepared us to be better parents and children of God. It hurts going through it, but it is all for His glory. We are so thankful for this gift of life he has given us... It is such a overwhelming gift from God and we don't take one day for granted...

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